As a first time mum of a now 14 month old, here are some tips that helped me through the chaos that is the newborn phase that can hopefully help you too.
1. A sling - Newborns want to be close to you and a sling is perfect for that. Especially when it comes to sleep. It's slightly absurd that after spending 9 whole months in your belly with only your smell and sound, we expect babies to be able to suddenly sleep in a cot, in a room without their parents. My son for example would sleep no more than 30 minutes in his bassinet during the day, but when I would put him in a sling he would sleep for hours, completely content. Additionally, whats great about putting the baby in the sling is being able to be hands free, meaning you can get other things done, ranging from prepping bottles, reading a book, putting a wash on or finally getting around that long forgotten cup of tea. Specifically soft t-shirt style wraps are best in my opinion, they're soft on the baby, easier to put on, easier to wash and easier for on the go.
2. Do what you want while the baby sleeps - this has now become a non negotiable for me. In the early days, when baby slept, I did the common thing of running around like a maniac trying to get as many chores done as humanly possible. This meant that I wouldn’t get a single second to myself. So now, i do most of the chores while he is awake. When baby sleeps, i do whatever i want. That could be reading, just lying down with baby, journalling, watching youtube etc. For me this is also the time I write my book reviews . The point is spending that time doing what YOU like to do, so you have little pockets of time throughout the day for you. That goes a long way to feeling less like a zombie.
3. Lean on friends and family - This is an interesting one, mainly because of context. Western societies' family units are more atomised and isolated, where families do not live in multigenerational homes and there aren't that many people to fall back on when things get tough. This makes parenting way more difficult. There's a reason they say it takes a village; because, quite simply it does. So lean on friends and family, where you can. Take the offers of help when given. If you are lucky enough to have that support system, whether that be in the form of grandparents, in laws, neighbours, whatever it may be, take the help and ask for it when you need it. Don't let the mum guilt, or the societal pressure to do it all make you feel like you're failing when needing help. Needing help is not the exception, it's the rule. If you can, even move back to your parents for a month post partum if that's an option.
4. Nutrition - Now this one, where to begin. Firstly post partum. Your body has been pretty much hit by a truck, you need rest and nutrient dense foods to aid your healing and if breastfeeding, milk production. Before giving birth, try and fill your freezer with as many meals as you can that you can quickly shove in the oven when you've returned home with your bundle of joy. If you have the means, these three items have proved crucial for me. Firstly the air fryer, quick and easy. The pressure cooker, you can batch make nourishing stews and soups and bone broths (all important for healing). A deep freezer. I know it can ruin the aesthetic of your home (trust me, my one sits in my living room) but it really is worth it. You can store your pre made stews, stock up on your meats and fish, stock up on veggies, buy frozen fruits for smoothies, you get the gist. Trust me, after baby comes along, and you've got a lot less time, these things will be a life saver, allowing you to eat something nutritious. You will be thanking your past self.
5. Take it in shifts - You and your partner need to be strategic in terms of taking the baby while the other can rest/sleep/eat etc. For example, your partner can take the baby from 8pm onwards. So while he does the bedtime routine, you can get into bed nice and early, get as much sleep as you can, especially if you're waking in the night to do the feeds. Whatever times works for you, but ultimately, just divide and conquer.
This newborn phase isn't forever, but as a first time parent, it can be the most challenging. Remember, you're figuring it out as you go, so don't be hard on yourself. Trust your instincts and enjoy the process as much as you can, the chaos will end all too quickly. Call me mad, but you might even miss it ♥️
